Life in the campo, continued...

My adjustment process to life in the campo continues every day. Although I’ve decided to change internships next semester (more on that later), I’m doing my best to make the most of my time in San Clemente and La Rinconada until then.

My body’s so used to waking up at 5:30am that even on the weekends I can’t sleep in because my body’s wondering where breakfast is! Who knew that Emily Rusca would be used to waking up so early. The human body is an incredible thing.

Work’s been just fine, the kids in La Rinconada are learning little by little and continue to be dedicated to learning English which has continued to be rewarding. P.E. hasn’t been so easy because the kids either don’t feel like participating or they just don’t pay attention. Part of the cause of that has been the fact that they are hungry and running on pure sugar.

The Ministry of Education here provides food (potatoes, rice, canned tuna, etc) to the schools in rural areas for the first forty days of the school year because they recognize the fact that many of these kids don’t eat much at home. The problem is that only continuing to provide the nutrition cookies/oatmeal drink after those 40 days means the kids are hungry most of the time. The groundskeeper at the school, Rubén, keeps a stash of potato chips, lollipops, and yogurts for the kids to buy, but as you can imagine, those just get the kids on a sugar high. They’re not too healthy. It’s just sad to hear the Ministry say that feeding these kids is so important and then doesn’t find a way to get that food to them when these schools don’t have the kind of money to buy the food for the rest of the year.

We had a problem the other day with a kid falling in the mud during a soccer game and fuming afterwards. He’s got a very strong personality and is very closed off once he’s upset. One of the things he said over and over again that really struck me is “My mom’s going to hit me” because he was muddy. The sad part is that it’s probably true…but how am I supposed to know? All I know is that in general there’s a problem in rural areas, especially marginalized indigenous communities such as La Rinconada, with alcoholism and physical abuse. No, the kids don’t come to school with bruises but there is definitely a handful that I’m at least a little worried about. I just hope I’m not right.

This past weekend I went to Otavalo again. First I went with my new host parents to the waterfall in Peguche, which is on the way and very beautiful. It was so misty! But I’m glad we saw it because it was a nice little trip. We all went down to Otavalo because María needed to buy some yarn at the market and we went to see the animal market, too, which was interesting. After that, Mesías and María left and I stayed at the market to shop for some gifts.

One of my friends from MSID, Jessica, is living and working in Otavalo for her internship, so we met up. It was really great to spend some time with someone who I really enjoy being around and who can relate. We haggled successfully in the market and just walked around the city, something that the first time I went to Otavalo I didn’t do and I’m glad that I now have. It was a good afternoon and night, but in the morning I had to head back to Ibarra because there are only two buses up to San Clemente on Sundays (11a & 1p). It was a really good break from being pretty isolated.

So as to why I’ve decided to change internships...It’s really because of a number of things.

1: I didn’t come to Ecuador to teach English. I still feel weird teaching English because when there are problems like malnutrition, etc., in a community, how is English helping these kids in the long run? Shouldn’t the school be focused on how they can organize their resources to be able to provide food for the kids? They’re not going to learn anything, least of all English, if they don’t eat. Not being sure I’m actually helping is a huge part of this. I really want to be excited about my internship and sure of what I’m doing. Winging it and teaching English vocabulary every day is just not that for me.

2: The culture issue. I have been adjusting to this culture just fine, as is evidenced for me by the fact that I haven’t felt sad/lonely since I’ve been here. The fact is, though, that the indigenous cultures in which I’m living/working are very much closed off. Yes, solidarity is very important, but people on a day-to-day basis live their lives and do their thing pretty independently. I’ve had so much alone time it’s incredible. But the fact of the matter is that even though I’ve gotten over feeling weird about my new host family not really seeming to want me to be integrated into the family (who all lives in houses around us), not feeling like I have strong bonds with anyone isn’t making me want to stay any more. I understand that even their familial relationships are not very personal; that they seem more like friendships but not even necessarily close ones. That’s why I don’t feel bad about not feeling integrated into the family because I think I am as much as I will be. That’s not to say that they don’t look out for me; they do, but our relationship isn’t particularly close or personal.

3: The isolation thing. I’m living and working in two very small and isolated communities. There aren’t many people I know that are my age (I spend my days surrounded by small children and four men). Those who are my age are already married with children and a home to take care of (no I’m not kidding, that’s just how the culture is here). The result of that is that I don’t have anyone to relate to here. There’s this disconnect between the people I’m surrounded by and me. A big part of why I’d want to come back to San Clemente next semester would be to research their ecotourism project. But I don’t actually feel like I could do that spending most of my time working in La Rinconada and not even living close to the ecotourism houses (a 30-minute hike up the mountain). Even when I do work in San Clemente, it’s once a week and none of the kids at the school are in ecotourism families so I don’t really feel comfortable asking questions about how the project is affecting the lives of the families in the community when I don’t feel particularly integrated into the community. My room is also an addition on the front of the house, which means I have to walk out the front door and unlock my door to get in, which is a weird additional isolation.

4: My Quiteña family. I miss them a lot, and I feel like I’m missing out on important family stuff being away from them. It’s crazy I know but I’m really close with them and they really do feel like family. Doing an internship in Quito would mean a) I’d have more options than just teaching English and b) I could spend more time with my Quiteña family.

So it’s not that I’m unhappy or sad or anything like that. In all reality, it’s about the fact that I’m not particularly excited about what I’m doing and all the other personal factors and knowing that I don’t have to force myself to just be content and not confident/excited/really happy for another nearly four months. And who knows if I’ll end up in Quito next semester. My #1 priority is being confident in and excited about my internship and the organization in which I’m working. The likelihood is that I’ll be in Quito because the rural opportunities I have are pretty much all teaching English and there are way more organizations and a wider variety in Quito because it’s a big urban area. We’ll see!

I’ve been trying in my overwhelming amount of alone time to work on my final paper, which is going to be about the ethics and appropriateness of teaching English, specifically in the context of the rural schools in which I’m working. It’s helping me sort out how I feel about my experience and why while giving me an opportunity to analyze that in the light of the state’s philosophy, what the kids think, and what parents think about teaching English. Hopefully it turns out well!

I’ve got three more weeks of my internship, which is crazy to think about when I consider how being so used to my schedule makes the weeks jump by. In a week and some change I’ll be in Quito for a few days for Thanksgiving and a week and some change after that I’ll be in Quito for the end of our program…crazy!!! Time flies…

Until next time, take care!